I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
