last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
