He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
where does the pee come out of this thing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
