Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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