What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
