69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
