Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
