where am i from again
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize