So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
