I just made out with a guy for $7.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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