Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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