girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
