That's intense
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
