So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
