i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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