Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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