i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
