You're my little dorito
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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