I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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