I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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