K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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