I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize