i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
