Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
