I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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