Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
