Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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