i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
