Having a random hookup so left but love u
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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