Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
