Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
