I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
