Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
