He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
