Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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