her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
