So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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