I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
