it wasn't lemon gatorade
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
