I heard we made out
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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