there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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