is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
