I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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