goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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