It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
