fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize