super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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