You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
MIDGETS
????
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
