we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
