What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
