just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
