if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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