porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
