so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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