why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
